Throwdown Thursday: Are We Made for RV Living?

Paul and I have been reading a lot of articles about RV living. I’m intrigued by the idea of making our poker pilgrimage in an RV. The thought of being able to bring my house (albeit a very slimmed down house) along on our travels like a very ambitious turtle appeals to the part of me that hates to leave the couch. Paul, however, is pretty sure that this particular journey would end in homicide.

Heather: Don’t you think it would be nice to sleep in the same bed every night, no matter where we wake up? And to have our own little stocked pantry that we take along with us? No need to rely on hotel food or an AirBnB kitchen to have the right sharp knife?

Paul: Listen, if we have to share the same 300 square feet for 12 months, all the knives will be kept very dull. We get edgy and claustrophobic in our 1,500-square-foot house now. What are we going to be like when our couch and kitchen table are one entity?

Heather: Well, obviously, we won’t be spending all day in there. We’ll be out and about a lot. It wouldn’t be any smaller than spending that time in a hotel room or a single room rental. I think it would be very cozy to experiment with living in a small space. As long as we have two separate rooms (say bedroom and everything else), I think we’ll do just fine.

Paul: Are we really “hitching our home to our pick up truck” kind of people though? There is some upkeep and maintenance required in these units. It may be an understatement to say that our sum total of mechanical skills is employed when we clean the sink trap. The last car repair I attempted ended with “The passenger window doesn’t really need to go down anyway.”

Heather: I don’t know. I think we’re at least moderately handy. I’m a master at putting together Ikea furniture. And when in doubt, there are always YouTube videos!

For me, the biggest concern would be dealing with the sewage end of things. You know I’m not going anywhere near that situation.

Paul: If IKEA has a DIY RV in stock we may be good. Get that Allen wrench out and go to town!

Knowing that the human waste department is my purview is not a real siren call to me for this adventure. I would like to keep plumbing one of the great mysteries of life. Kind of like the fate of The Lost Colony and the acting career of Seth Green.

Heather: Fair enough. That may be a tough one to get around.

But don’t you at least see the allure of taking our home with us, and not having to settle and re-settle in a new place every few days or weeks? You’ve got to be able to appreciate the beauty of that.

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Paul: That convenience is outweighed by the recurrent nightmares I’ll have of failing to hitch our home correctly and watching it pitch off the Eads Bridge into the Mississippi. The potential list of tragedies that would likely occur with you and I as stewards of this aluminum missile is limitless.

How about if we’re two months into this trip and we hate our ambulatory togetherness coffin? The great thing about the “new place” rotation is we’re only stuck with a residence that we don’t like for a short time.

Heather: Only you would come up with the phrase “ambulatory togetherness coffin”.

Fine. You convinced me. We’ll leave my RV dream behind, along with my dream of appearing on “Jeopardy!”, and my dream of getting through a single day without hearing you crack your knuckles.

Paul: Phew! Now I can stop googling “How restraining orders work with an RV.”

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